Have you seen the construction at church? Did you walk through the area after the service yesterday? Looks good, doesn’t it?
Well, it looks good for an area that is still under construction. You just have to imagine the job finished and the area all cleaned up and the furniture in place. Not too hard!
I can say that because the work is not being done at my house, in my own personal living space. But I remember not long ago when I had a dumpster in my driveway. The neighbors would comment on how well things were progressing, but all that I could see was men invading my space, tools everywhere, lots of dust – and change, that was the hardest part.
In order to create a new space you have to sacrifice or change the old one. We might need the new one desperately, recognize that need and even welcome the new. But letting go of the old one can be hard, at least for me. I’m too attached to things, too used to them the way they are.
Please don’t misunderstand, I’m fine with the work being done at church. I’m pleased with the renovations to my house. But there is another construction zone here in town.
It’s me.
God is doing some renovations, so you’ll have to pardon my appearance. I don’t have much to show for it right now. Maybe you would see it differently, but all that I can see is someone invading my space and churning things up, making modifications and hauling things away. It’s uncomfortable, and I confess that I don’t like it.
I’m trying to imagine what I will be like when He is finished with this particular project. But it’s hard, really hard.
Right now all that I can see is that things are a mess inside.
I keep praying that The Lord will change my heart, make me a willing partner in this work. You see, it’s not a question of my faith in God’s power to change me. I know that He can do it! The real question is, will I let God change me? Will I keep myself open to Him?
I’m very attached to the many parts of me, even to the parts that I know need to be sacrificed or changed. In fact, I’m shocked at how fiercely I cling to and defend them! Sometimes it seems that my construction zone has become a resistance zone.
I don’t want to know what power I have to resist God’s good work in me!
Have you ever found yourself in this condition? How did you handle it? Maybe you have some insight you could share? Maybe you would pray for me?