Heart

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Advent!

Monday, November 28th, 2011

I’ve been waiting for this time to come again.

            Waiting, and longing, for Him to reign in my heart again in that wonderful way that He does at Advent! 

All year long the world afflicts us.  Many are the names on my prayer list.

But all that the world can do to us can’t compare to all that The Lord has done for us, in us and through us!  All that the world can take from us can’t compare to what God has given to us!

            He has given us His own dear Son!  To save us!

Jesus Christ is coming!

He has come.  He will come!  He is come – He is here, now, with you. He cares for you.

            Nothing can stop His coming!

He is coming to reign in our hearts again.

The Light will grow brighter with each candle in the Advent wreath, as Hope is reborn in your heart and mine.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13) 

And…They’re Off!

Friday, September 9th, 2011

            The kids are off to school again!  And just as I expected, life is getting busier already!  Things are a bit different this year though, now that I have a 5th and a 7th grader.  I miss them more than they miss me.

            Sigh.

            I’m still important to them though, more than I realized.  Can I tell you how I found this out?

            Well, last week I was working hard with my daughters to get everything organized for the new academic year – buying supplies, ordering new clothes (their sneakers from last year still fit!!), figuring out how their schedules are going to mesh.  Then we addressed the matter of their violin lessons.

            No problem!  We just extend the instrument rental, order new music books, write the (big) check out to their instructor and we’re done and ready to cruise through another year, right?

            Wrong!

            I saw it so clearly on my younger daughter’s face.  Why hadn’t I seen it before?  She was unhappy.  There was something we had missed.  And we were just a few calendar pages away from missing it again this year.

            So we talked and talked, and together we came to see the problem.  We had attended to all of the details, but we had forgotten the big picture.

              All that she really wanted was for me to listen to her play.

            So I did, and my heart swelled to hear her play her violin!  Praise God!! For the first time, I heard her play.  Do you know what I mean?  I had listened to her play before, but this time I listened to her play.  And it wasn’t about the violin, or the music or whether she was doing everything just as her instructor has told her.  It was about hearing my daughter play.

            And it’s not just about hearing her play, but also about seeing her grow and learn and change.  It’s about enjoying the person that she is today, and along each step of the way.

            After she played her violin for me, my younger daughter smiled, and I could see it on her face that together we are making up the big picture!  We’re working hard now to remember this, my two daughters and I, as…we’re off, running in the school year marathon!

Under Construction

Monday, August 15th, 2011

            Have you seen the construction at church?  Did you walk through the area after the service yesterday?  Looks good, doesn’t it?

            Well, it looks good for an area that is still under construction.  You just have to imagine the job finished and the area all cleaned up and the furniture in place.  Not too hard!

            I can say that because the work is not being done at my house, in my own personal living space.  But I remember not long ago when I had a dumpster in my driveway.  The neighbors would comment on how well things were progressing, but all that I could see was men invading my space, tools everywhere, lots of dust – and change, that was the hardest part.

            In order to create a new space you have to sacrifice or change the old one.  We might need the new one desperately, recognize that need and even welcome the new.  But letting go of the old one can be hard, at least for me.  I’m too attached to things, too used to them the way they are.

            Please don’t misunderstand, I’m fine with the work being done at church.  I’m pleased with the renovations to my house.  But there is another construction zone here in town.

            It’s me.

            God is doing some renovations, so you’ll have to pardon my appearance.  I don’t have much to show for it right now.  Maybe you would see it differently, but all that I can see is someone invading my space and churning things up, making modifications and hauling things away.  It’s uncomfortable, and I confess that I don’t like it.

            I’m trying to imagine what I will be like when He is finished with this particular project.  But it’s hard, really hard.

            Right now all that I can see is that things are a mess inside.

            I keep praying that The Lord will change my heart, make me a willing partner in this work.  You see, it’s not a question of my faith in God’s power to change me.  I know that He can do it!  The real question is, will I let God change me?  Will I keep myself open to Him?

            I’m very attached to the many parts of me, even to the parts that I know need to be sacrificed or changed.  In fact, I’m shocked at how fiercely I cling to and defend them!  Sometimes it seems that my construction zone has become a resistance zone.

            I don’t want to know what power I have to resist God’s good work in me!

            Have you ever found yourself in this condition?  How did you handle it?  Maybe you have some insight you could share?  Maybe you would pray for me?