Priorities

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And…They’re Off!

Friday, September 9th, 2011

            The kids are off to school again!  And just as I expected, life is getting busier already!  Things are a bit different this year though, now that I have a 5th and a 7th grader.  I miss them more than they miss me.

            Sigh.

            I’m still important to them though, more than I realized.  Can I tell you how I found this out?

            Well, last week I was working hard with my daughters to get everything organized for the new academic year – buying supplies, ordering new clothes (their sneakers from last year still fit!!), figuring out how their schedules are going to mesh.  Then we addressed the matter of their violin lessons.

            No problem!  We just extend the instrument rental, order new music books, write the (big) check out to their instructor and we’re done and ready to cruise through another year, right?

            Wrong!

            I saw it so clearly on my younger daughter’s face.  Why hadn’t I seen it before?  She was unhappy.  There was something we had missed.  And we were just a few calendar pages away from missing it again this year.

            So we talked and talked, and together we came to see the problem.  We had attended to all of the details, but we had forgotten the big picture.

              All that she really wanted was for me to listen to her play.

            So I did, and my heart swelled to hear her play her violin!  Praise God!! For the first time, I heard her play.  Do you know what I mean?  I had listened to her play before, but this time I listened to her play.  And it wasn’t about the violin, or the music or whether she was doing everything just as her instructor has told her.  It was about hearing my daughter play.

            And it’s not just about hearing her play, but also about seeing her grow and learn and change.  It’s about enjoying the person that she is today, and along each step of the way.

            After she played her violin for me, my younger daughter smiled, and I could see it on her face that together we are making up the big picture!  We’re working hard now to remember this, my two daughters and I, as…we’re off, running in the school year marathon!

My Friend Mary

Thursday, July 21st, 2011

            She wore a hair net when she showed me how to make lasagna.  She still had a baby tooth, at 90 years old!  She laughed often, especially at herself.  She thanked me sincerely, again and again, for the little ways in which I helped her.

            These are just a few of the things I loved about my good friend Mary.

            Her mom died when she was very young, but God gave her an aunt to care for her.  She never had any children, but God gave her a niece to love instead.  Advancing years brought her severe back pain and crippling episodes of vertigo, but Mary never complained.

            “There are so many people who suffer so much more than I do,” she would always say, mournfully.  Then she would praise God for all of the ways that He had blessed her.

            This is what I admired most about Mary.

            I’d always thought that God sent me to help Mary, to bring some joy into her life.  Maybe so, but now I see how much more He sent Mary into my life.  Only now that she is gone do I see how she enriched my life, how she blessed me and helped me to grow as a person. 

            I miss her so much

            Some weeks, when life got busy and just crazy, I struggled to make time to help Mary.  Now, well, I would push it all aside just to be with her one more time.

Hidden Need

Thursday, July 14th, 2011

            There is so much need in the world, and not just in impoverished places.  Some of the need is right here in front of us, but we don’t see it until we get in really close.

            I’m thinking of a few years ago when I drove up to Mendham every Tuesday to take my grandmother grocery shopping.  One day after shopping, Gram asked me to clip her fingernails.  They were long and torn.  It was getting harder for her to do it herself, because of her arthritis.

            Driving back home that afternoon, I got to thinking about her toenails.  Was she able to clip them?  The next Tuesday I inquired about them. 

            “I didn’t feel right asking you to clip those,” she explained.  “Besides, I’m afraid if you see how bad they are, you’ll tell your mother and she’ll make me go back to that awful podiatrist.”

            I insisted that Gram remove her shoes and socks and, sure enough, I was appalled!  How had she been able to walk like that?

            I’ve been clipping Gram’s toenails, whenever I get a chance, ever since – secretly, so that mom doesn’t find out.  (Shhh- don’t tell!)

            Once in awhile Gram and I would pick up groceries at the store for some of the other residents of her senior apartment complex.  That’s how I found out that her friend Marge couldn’t read her prescription bottles, because of her macular degeneration.  She asked me to write the names in large black letters on each bottle one day.

            “So I can keep them straight,” she said.  Such a small thing, and yet it helped her so very much.

            Gram’s friend Mary had a bad leg, and needed a little more help.  One day I brought her a bottle of milk from the store, and noticed that her apartment was cluttered with boxes – so many that she could barely move about.  Her kitchen had just been renovated, along with all of the other kitchens in the complex – every senior’s nightmare because of the moving of dishes that is required.  Well, Mary’s leg was so bad that she hadn’t been able to unpack most of the boxes of kitchen things, even three weeks after the remodel was finished.  Her son had helped her pack, but he lived kind of far from her and hadn’t gotten back yet to help her unpack.  So Mary just lived around the boxes.

            As I handed Mary her milk, I thought for a moment of offering to help her unpack.  But I had already spent more time than I really had to give, taking Gram shopping.  So instead, I said goodbye and left her there with the clutter.

            All the way home I thought about all of the things that were cluttering up my own life, keeping me from having the time to help someone with something as simple as unpacking boxes.