Remembering Grace (blog)
"There is no difference," he reads aloud from your Bible, as he takes a seat in the chair you've pulled out from the table. Your hand shakes, as you pour coffee into the cup you've placed before him."...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," he continues reading. He takes a sip of the steaming brew. Then he closes your Bible and, leaning toward you, catches your downcast eyes and whispers, "You're no different."After a short silence, he sits back in the chair and asks if you have cookies.He's right!You're no different, and you know it. Your cheeks flush with shame as you slip a pillow behind his back, making him more comfortable.You despise this unwelcome guest, and the late night visits he pays you, but you also feel relieved that he's found you out again and that you don't have to try to hide the truth anymore. His words pierce you, but if that's what it takes to ease your conscience, to try to make atonement...Scorched, your steaming cup of remorse spilling over, you make your way into the kitchen. Staring vacantly into the snack cabinet, you think back to the last church service you attended, to when you heard God's promises and felt so strengthened in your faith in Jesus. What verse was it that Pastor read? (You should have paid closer attention! And not stayed up so late the night before.) It was...the one about being "more than conquerors," wait, how did it go?Well, what does it matter now? You tried (really hard), but you failed God - again! You're a sinner, just like all of the rest. You're conquered!It's one thing to believe that you can (more than) overcome while you're in the pew on Sunday morning with other people singing praises to God all around you, and with the thundering of the organ uplifting you, and with the pastor reassuring you. But what about out here, at night, when you're alone and weary, and when your unwelcome guest shows up after hearing (not the good news but) all of the bad news about you?Bracing yourself, you pour him a second cup of coffee, as he takes a bite of cookie and pulls out a ledger, a calculator and a pen which (he claims) never runs out."Alright then, let's get started," he says brightly and begins to recite all of the incriminating evidence against you in excruciating detail. Your eyes widen at all of the red marks he makes in the ledger. You feel an urge to wail but, knowing it would be impolite, you gnash your teeth quietly instead.This is going to be a long night, you realize, despairing. What's that you see under the table, did he really bring a suitcase? Well, whether you intended it or not, you did invite him. Hasn't your pastor always warned you not to entertain evil!Your anxiety turns to panic, as your mind circles round and round with his condemning banter.'You're no different. You're no different. You're no different, and..."Wait, is there an "and" in that verse?Quietly pulling your phone out under the table, you open your Bible app, keyword search "fall short of the glory of God", and read in Romans 3...verse 24..."...and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.""That's right! How could I have forgotten that part," you wonder as, hands still trembling, you stand up from the table and carry your guest's empty plate and cup to the kitchen sink. You tap your phone screen and read the verse in context..."This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe.""To all who believe - yes! To all who believe! To all who believe!"The words circle round and round in your mind as you make your way back to the table and, with steadying hand, take hold of the suitcase and pull your guest's chair out from the table."God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement..." you read further, as your guest grabs his ledger and follows you out into the foyer."...through faith in his blood."Standing at the front door, you pray silently, "Forgive me, Lord. I believe. Thank you Jesus."Blinking back tears, you quickly lift up another silent prayer of thanks for your Bible app. You usher your guest out of the house, then close and lock the door.Back at the table, you pour yourself a cup of coffee, take hold of your Bible, and begin reading in Romans.